John Prine and Iris DeMent In Spite of Ourselves
Why One Imperfect Duet Became One of the Most Honest Love Songs Ever Performed
John Prine and Iris DeMent – In Spite of Ourselves (Live From Sessions at West 54th)
There are love songs that promise forever in polished phrases, and then there are love songs that tell the truth. In Spite of Ourselves firmly belongs to the latter. When John Prine joined voices with Iris DeMent on Live From Sessions at West 54th, the result was not just a performance — it was a statement about what devotion really looks like when the shine wears off.
Originally released in 1999 as the title track of Prine’s comeback album, the song quickly earned a place among his most cherished works, reaching the Top 30 on Billboard’s Hot Country Singles and Tracks chart. But the live West 54th rendition captures something deeper than chart success. It presents the song as it was always meant to be heard: a conversation between two people who understand that love is less about fantasy and more about persistence.
At its heart, John Prine and Iris DeMent – In Spite of Ourselves is a gentle rebellion against the traditional love song. Instead of idealizing romance, Prine fills the lyrics with everyday realities — habits, quirks, and small annoyances that come with long-term companionship. These are not confessions meant to embarrass or undermine love. They are acknowledgments. The song suggests that devotion does not survive despite imperfection, but because of it.
That idea comes alive in the live performance. Prine’s delivery is relaxed and playful, almost conversational. He sounds like a man sharing a truth he has lived long enough to trust. DeMent, meanwhile, brings a grounded sincerity that keeps the humor from drifting into novelty. Her voice is unadorned and steady, giving emotional weight to lyrics that could easily be misunderstood if sung with irony alone.
What makes this performance particularly compelling is the lack of polish — and that is precisely the point. Their voices do not blend seamlessly, nor are they meant to. They trade lines, react to one another, and lean into the song’s rough edges. The result feels less like a rehearsed duet and more like a shared understanding spoken aloud.
For older listeners especially, the song resonates with lived experience. It reflects the quiet agreements that sustain relationships over decades — the choice to stay, to forgive, and to laugh when perfection proves unrealistic. There are no grand promises here, no sweeping metaphors. Just the simple acknowledgment that love, at its strongest, is built on familiarity rather than illusion.
Culturally, In Spite of Ourselves stands as one of John Prine’s most enduring contributions because it articulates something many people feel but rarely hear reflected in music. It treats humor as a form of honesty, not avoidance. And in the intimate setting of Sessions at West 54th, that honesty feels even more personal.
In the end, John Prine and Iris DeMent – In Spite of Ourselves (Live From Sessions at West 54th) is not merely a duet. It is a philosophy of love set to melody — one that reminds us devotion does not require perfection, only presence. Showing up. Staying put. And choosing each other, again and again, exactly as we are.